Saturday, 12 May 2012

Has anyone seen the floor?

My mother once told me 'you don't put AWAY, you just put.'  I'm afraid having a baby has only worsened this affliction.

Advice in the new mommy handbook about leaving housework alone is moot when it's been perennially low on my to do list anyway. I didn't think it possible but I've married someone who ranks it even lower.  I think he remembers it when we're out of plates and he has to drink out of a boot but that's about it.  Together, we rate pretty much hopeless on the housekeeping scale and quite probably require professional help.

Needless to say, out comes Rukai and our house now looks like the set of Twister.  Good thing we did all that pre-baby DIY then, because it looks so NICE.

Or not.

To be fair, when 'eat' is always in the 'maybe' column, who honestly gives two monkeys about scrubbing the bathtub and dusting the blinds?  (Must admit though, we were really thinking clearly buying silver ones.)

But back to housework (and you see how easily I digress) I always get to 'baby maintenance' and can pretty much tick off 'wash clothes' but never seem to get them put away.  So one of our living room sofas is now Rukai's dresser.  The coffee table is the main changing area.  Hell, he now OWNS the living room and we have to rent out the recliners from him.  I think he's already bought a Ferrari, a racehorse and a yacht moored in Cannes.  He's named them all 'ahhhhhh-ooooooo' because that's all he can say at the moment.

His actual dresser has become a huge lamp table and contains little more than a bag of cotton balls, 3 Q-Tips, another changing pad and everything he's already grown out of.  Our stuff seems to live either in the laundry basket, somewhere near the hamper or on our backs.  I think the wardrobes might actually be empty - if only I could reach them I'd let you know.

Amongst all this detritus, I worry we may somehow misplace Rukai during the toddling years, but am thinking if we dress him in some beenie boppers and a Lo-Jack we may just get by.

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